December 2009
39 posts
*COUGH COUGH*
summerprints:
delirist:
I THINK. I’m falling. Sick. NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
AHHHHHHH! *SOBS*
NEVERMIND. Hahaha. Sleepover rocks socks!
DONT FALL SICK!!! :)’
(this is hilarious cos we’re all here)
I’m sick too! Grace left to fall ill!!! DO NOT FALL SICK. :D
Keep eating popcorns ya?????
All I Need
“Fine” will always be the answer. Then in the the dark, attempt to untie the complicated twist of emotions. Lost in my own sea of thoughts. Faltering. Can’t find myself. It’s a routine to paint my front. Can’t feel the pain anymore, can’t remember all that’s happened — stay this way. I just want to move on. But I’m still falling into their...
My Christmas
Never felt such warmth, love and joy in such a long time. It’s so satisfying to give, and receive also. Glad I’m able, able to block out all the drama for now. And tear down the walls that seems impossible to penetrate. Time to stop feeling like the burden. I am His precious daughter.
I Am
delirist:
I’m a part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have Holy Spirit power. I’ve stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I’m a disciple of His. I won’t look back, Let up, slow down, Back away, or be still. My past redeemed, My present makes sense, My future is secure. I’m finished and done with low living, Sidewalking, small planning, Smooth-knees, colorless dreams, Tame...
Move, feet
Now
even when you attempt to kill me - repeatedly remind everyone of everything you have, speak of me in a third person point of view even when I’m present, embarrass me so you look good, building up walls between, not meaning what you say, treat me so passively (yet otherwise to others), speak to me with a trace of annoyance in your tone, leaving this bridge unattended, not placing...
Nothing ahead of you is bigger or stronger than...
teensforchrist:
“Be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power.” Ephesians 6:10
Like No Other
Tonight, I’m not going to twist my sentences. Not going to cover up whatsoever. No more pretences. This time, I’m not going to let all these emotions consume me. I want to be in control. My heart and mind will be in check, often to steer back to God’s words whenever it strays away. So, I’m loving with all I’ve got. It’s a free night. Safe hands are guiding me.
Sealed
Today no one saw. My heart ran in the lonely rain. Couldn’t breathe; much silent wind. No one knew. Tonight, it hurts so bad.
Tonight, I’m caught in my own web again.
What a cold night.
Sickness was fixing me some. Coughed out my heart...
(via fuckyeahmetric)
Sleep Well
I have seen too much, thought to much, cried too much. Now He stands in the way of hurt for me; my refuge from this world. I’m tired of being tired. So now I’ll surrender it all to Him. Even though I still run to hide in the toilet to compose myself amidst all of the internal battle and dab a smile on, my heart is safe in the Healer’s hands. From now on, He’s taking all I...
(:
Still starting to pick up all the minor details. But now, He guards my heart.
I’m going to have a good sleep.
Free
Camp was more than awesome. God has spoken so specifically and attended to every single wound I’m feeling up to loving people again. I’ve missed you, Mom and Dad. As much as I still dread all the rejection and hurt that would still come needless to say, I’ll remember the reason why I love them and continue doing so. Oh, and it’s fun ’cause we get to roll around in the...
“My love is so articulate but I am such a mess.”
– Sondre Lerche, My Hands Are Shaking (via crookedtooth)
Shelter
Your Grace is enough, more than I need At Your Word I will believe I wait for You, draw near again Let Your Spirit make me new
My heart will stop wandering. I’ll not run to places or hearts that do not have a place for me. Because it’s more than I can take, and I’m fed up with the world. I’m running to Your embrace. Tomorrow, the holes in my hearts will be filled with...
Lithium
aikenchia:
Darling, I forgive you after all.
Anything is better than to be alone,
And in the end I guess I had to fall;
Always find my place among the ashes.
I want to stay in love with my sorrow,
But I am going to let it go.
Here in the darkness I know myself
Unfortunately, true.
No
I’m not done fighting. And the more I press on, the sharper the pain. How is this even bringing a smile. But everyday, You give me a new heart.
A heart to live.
‘Cause you cannot see me. I’m hiding in the dark. I’m always hiding in the dark. So you cannot see me.
Painted Faces
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” Job 1: 21
I’m a mess. I can’t even begin to write. Streetlight on lonely paths. Late night walks. But a noisy heart. A persistent void. I’m running; left with nothing. Bare. Empty. Broken. Poor.
Soup Success
My heart’s secure in You. Now I am secure. Those moments, not tonight.
Places No One Will Find
Sometimes I wonder, if I gave too much of myself to not gain anything back in return. Giving, sharing, loving, comforting, encouraging, supporting; and I see none coming back my way. My heart think it’s safe in their hands. The secret monster always seems to get at me. Everyone’s too caught up in their own net of problems and issues. Unwilling to part with that little bit of love or...
My Manic & I
I try and try. But the pieces of my face are falling out. And holding them together is increasingly draining. It’s like a broken bridge in need of repair. But every broken plank I replace, I see another cut on my heart. No one’s filling the space I need them to. It’s almost impossible to keep running on my own fuel. I am forgotten. Like a fallen maple leaf, a broken crumb. I...
They’ve been swimming in the wrong waters Now they’re pulling me down But I am clinging to You, never letting go ‘Cos I know that You’ll lift me out
Lifeline - Brooke Fraser
Proverbs 12:18
fishforpeople:
Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.
I Am.
aikenchia:
I am not just for your convenience, not granted though taken for, unwilling but nice enough, considerate at my expense, attention seeking but attention needing, inclusive and yet left out, tired but hoping for the best, always fighting but seldom fought for, hopeful and always hoping, loving though getting little in return, empty and yet pouring, ashamed and healing, dirty but to be...
That Broken Crumb
Today’s a shade too dark. Maybe a little bit too suffocating. A smile too fake. A load too heavy in my heart space. The porcelain is falling out of my face. My insides are showing; messy thoughts and complicated connections. This is ugly. I don’t want your heart heavier just to hear my heaviness. It’ll be cleaner to stuff it all back inside and stitch myself up. I need You close,...
If my world is cold, do I still make it my business to keep building fires?
I’m still waiting for that embrace that I can fall right into.
fuckyeahemilyhaines:
“The Lottery” - Emily...
Are You Prepared For My Aching Arms
And it really kills to know that there wasn’t anyone right from the start. No one to know that I pick up your emotions like my mind’s a detector. That every word I speak and action I take, their hearts I consider. I try and I try, to make things work. To see them safe. To see them smile. To see them free. My running wheels are worned out, I’m feeling the burns. No one sees, the...
Who Do I Call
I’ve plastered my face again, examined my contradicting heart. And I’m finding a way. Because this smile is deceiving. I’m tired of reading emotions, just to analyse them every nightfall. Sometimes it feels so wrong to be myself when everyone else seems so perfect. Making me out to be so wrong, so inadequate, so little. I’m worned out from fitting into the mould you...
Yet Another One
All we ever are doing is building up walls. Skin to skin, yet our hearts are worlds apart. You’re dreaming on my nightmare, I’m building up your worst fears. I can’t comprehend your choice of words, neither can you decipher my thoughts. Nothing’s being ironed out. Our conversation like bubbles, bursting into arguments. I’m running a race you can’t bear to watch....